July 13, 2009

July 13, 2009

Although there were many possibilities for writing over the weekend, I felt it would be better spent in other ways. There were travels all over the area including a local restaurant where my father’s cousin played blue’s piano. Time was cherished at the beach watching kite surfers and walking along the wet sand. Yesterday there were also visitors! Joni, (Bernice’s daughter), and her husband came by in time to share some pizza and talk over photo sharing. Both Evelyn and I really loved seeing this pair again. Wherever they are, life feels more energized. Joni also has an incredible talent. She is able to walk into any room anywhere in the world and radiate. It is practically impossible not to smile when she stops in for a visit.

The beach was so inspiring that I thought, won't it be perfect to bring Evelyn by the shore? Her caregiver Annabelle and I made plans to spend the day by the shore on Sunday with Evy, but when asked if she would like to go, she instantly refused. My mother was able to bring her to the beach the last time that she was in California, but lately she has been less interested in transferring from her chair to a car and then back. It is easier for her to go with dial-a-ride, but more expensive. Instead of feeling the breeze by the shore, we took a walk around the block. About halfway through the walk, she recommended taking a break.

The break was refreshing. Evelyn asked why I didn’t want to go to the beach with my young cousins, but I really just wanted to take her. I explained how precious the beach and water is for me and she exclaimed, “So THAT’S why you came to California!” My response was simply, “If I wanted to go to the beach, I could travel to any beach anywhere in the world. There are many beaches, but only one Evelyn Froehlich”. Perhaps she has forgotten how precious she really is in this world, but I have not. The stroll continued leisurely and we reflected more on how nice it is to be in the water. Evelyn said that once she used to swim and dive, but now she is old. She cannot do such things. I told her that she could still probably float. However, floating is not her current forte. A sea of visitors is much more exciting than a day by the sea.

Joni’s shared more about her memories of Evelyn during her visit. She remembered a plane trip that she took at the age of ten to visit Evy and her family in Phoenix, Arizona. As usual, my grandmother was late and Joni waited by herself at the very small Phoenix airport, (Perhaps around 1957?). The first dinner that was presented to Joni was liver and onions. After speaking the words, “liver and onions”, Joni’s face contorted from a radiant smile to an awful grimace. Probably like most children, Joni really hated, (and I imagine still hates), liver and onions. Despite her dislike, she ate it because Evy explained how as the oldest of all the children present, none of the other children would eat it if they saw that she didn’t like it. She managed to stomach it, but never forgot Evy’s words of leadership.

Joni also said that the one thing she wanted to do most in Arizona was to go on a picnic. She had obviously never been to the desert, but her mind was set to go on a picnic. It was the middle of the summer, and what she remembers most about this splendid picnic was not just the heat, but also the frightening number of bees. My grandmother was happy to have a picnic in the middle of the summer in the heart of the desert to fulfill her niece's wish. I'm sure she was equally terrified by the amount of bees, but surely they must have spent a nice time together.

To Joni, Evelyn was always Aunt Evy. Both women glow in one another’s presence. There exists something amazing that people can share with their aunts and uncles, which bridges the gap between friends and family. I feel very sorry for children that despotic or selfish aunts and uncles. They see their family as much smaller and perhaps the world much smaller than it really is. Perhaps we all have a few good A&Us and a few more self-centered A&Us. It is only within our happiness that we see what is good and grow from this.